Section » Ecstatic Truth Baseball Report
Nashville 5, Your Portland Beavers 4
Inning One: Interview with Rich Burk: In Medias Res Was it the Roman poet Horace or Cubs right fielder Milton Bradley who wrote in his Ars Poetica, “Nec reditum Diomedis ab ineritu Meleagri, / nec gemino bellum Troianum orditur ab ovo; / semper ad eventum et in medias res…”? Personally, I forget. But regardless of who wrote what seminal
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Your Portland Beavers 3, Salt Lake City 2
Inning One: Un Peu de Chagrin I don’t know if the Reader has ever had occasion to crack open one of the big Greek tragedies by Aeschylus or Sophocles or Euripides, but if ye have, then ye will probably remember how, once an act or so, some sad sack or another, finding himself vigorously dissatisfied
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Your Portland Beavers 6, Salt Lake City 5
Inning One: Waxing Intelligent A lot of snarky people out there — by which I mean “Buddhists,” primarily — like to ask questions along the lines of: “If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” This sort of question, I’m
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Your Portland Beavers 5, Sacramento 1
Inning One: The Long Hello Despite my privileged status as Official Baseballing Journalist, I have as yet — apart from a sweaty-palmed interaction with Kyle Blanks, son of Peleus, on Media Day — I have as yet to take advantage of my access to any of the actual members of the Portland Beavers.
Sacramento 3, Your Portland Beavers 1
Inning One It’d be hard to tell by looking at me now, but when I was in fourth grade I was a little bit of what you might call “a giant nerdbone.” My hair was vigorously unkempt, my clothes were more than a notch below haute couture, and whatever the opposite of “only speak when spoken to”
Your Portland Beavers 8, Fresno 5
Inning One What’s a guy to do when two equally stone-y foxes vie for his attentions? That, as everyone will undoubtedly remember, was the selfsame question that Seth Cohen was forced to answer in Season One, Episode Thirteen (“The Best Chrismukkah Ever”) of every Enthusiast’s
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Your Portland Beavers 4, Fresno 3
Inning One While it might not be of any great interest to the reader, I would like to — before we embark upon what I expect will amount to a giant helping of full-on ado — I would like to share some of my boyish enthusiasm with you. It’s hard to describe exactly how pleased I am about
Pregame Festivities
Inning One It’s official: Portland Sportsman is totally desperate for content! Or at least that’s the only possible explanation of which I could possibly conceive for why they’d allow someone like me — i.e. just barely literate, hardly ever “wears pants” — to